Marriage trips

So reflecting back on what I said on Wednesday—Hubs and I thrive on our time alone. I’m a firm believer in couples having time to themselves without other people…without kids. JUST with eachother. Before Livie came, we had this a lot.  At least once a week. And any time we DIDN’T have that one night a week, well let’s just say we could tell. We  bickered more. We nitpicked more. And then I’d say ” Oh yeah! We haven’t had date night in a couple weeks. NO WONDER!” When Becky and Hubs don’t have time alone Becky and Hubs get a little crazy.

True story.

When Livie came, those date nights came few and far between. For one, she was so attached to me. For another, Hubs’ mom wasn’t too interested in having a tiny baby overnight like she did when she had Hannah overnight because Hannah’s 7 now and she’s moved on past that stage. Plus Livie isn’t the 1st grandkid like Hannah was either. I understood that so we just didn’t have many nights alone. Really, ANY time alone. Then Livie started letting us lay her down at night and we could have a glass of wine and watch a movie and FINALLY have time together to just BE together before we went to bed. And then something changed. MIL started keeping Livie overnight once a week with Hannah. That was 2 months ago. And let me tell you, the improvement in our marriage from just 5 months ago when we started having time alone at night to his mom keeping Livie overnight is major compared to when Livie was about 3 months old and we barely spoke anything but baby talk to eachother. I can now say that having Livie put a strain on our marriage. And it all circled back around to not having time together….not reconnecting at the end of the day…or even at the end of the week.

So this weekend we’re going away together. Just me and him. We haven’t done this since I was 4 months pregnant with Livie. It’s been that long. We used to get trips away together once or even twice a year. It’s been a year and a 1/2 and we NEED it. I realize that not every couple is like us. They don’t HAVE to have time alone to function great together. But this is us I’m talking about. And I’m telling you- WE NEED IT. Promise you.

And that’s really the advice I give to people who ask me what our secret it. It isn’t perfection. It isn’t no arguing or no going to bed mad at eachother, because we do both of those plenty. It’s time alone. It’s dinner alone. It’s movies alone. It’s TV time alone. It’s trips away alone.

With that said, I can’t wait to leave tomorrow.

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15 Responses to “Marriage trips”

  • My parents did a lot of getaways together alone and couples weekends and when my dad traveled for work and mom tagged along. But my mom also did girls trips with her friends and my aunts. And my dad went on hunting and boating trips with the guys. I think there needs to be a good fix of family time, husband/wife time and individual time. Each part of you has to be nourished.

    Have a great time!

    [Reply]

    Becky Reply:

    Exactly Karen. That’s exactly what I mean. Couldn’t have said it better myself! And thank you!

    [Reply]

  • I agree on having time alone with each other but I also think it’s crucial to a relationship to have alone time, apart. It’s important for him to have friends and a hobby outside of me and for me to have the same. When an event comes up for him and his friends and he’s wavering on going or not going, I’ll encourage it. And he encourages me to take “me time” too.
    Katie (aka Kekibird)´s last blog ..Updates and Fluff… My ComLuv Profile

    [Reply]

    Becky Reply:

    Yep. Alone time w/o eachother is totally crucial. I don’t get it too often unless I’m editing photos. That is totally ME time. And I enjoy it!

    [Reply]

  • Aimee:

    have fun! hope you make another baby this weekend! ;o)

    [Reply]

    Becky Reply:

    OMG SHUT UP! lol

    [Reply]

  • I’m a little jealous, because Dave & I have had a grand total of ONE date night (actually an overnight trip with a hotel & everything, all by ourselves) since Catie was born. And it was when she was 11 months old. She’s 3 now.

    My parents are trying to sell their house to move here, and my hope is that when they do, we’ll have the opportunity to have more “just us” time. We’ll see!
    cindy w´s last blog ..couch-to-5 wha? My ComLuv Profile

    [Reply]

    Becky Reply:

    I’m hoping she gets to move there! It’ll be nice for y’all to get some time together!

    [Reply]

  • Lisa:

    Have a great time this weekend. It is so nice that you guys are able to get away.
    Lisa´s last blog ..St. Louis is Marching For Maddie My ComLuv Profile

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  • Since Jamison has been born we’ve only gone out on a date twice. That’s twice in over three years. But we do make time for each other after the kid goes to bed. I don’t care if we’re just sitting on the couch watching a movie, it’s a huge improvement. My parents are here this week, I’m totally taking advantage. I told DH he has to take me to the movies. And a make-out session in the car :-)
    Kristen´s last blog ..Stout cupcakes with whiskey ganache and Bailey’s butter cream My ComLuv Profile

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  • My husband and I totally need this. With Ella’s heart issues I’ve never felt comfortable leaving her with people and just last month left her with Gino for the first time overnight w/out me.

    We are in DESPERATE need of a getaway together.
    Amanda (Garibay Soup)´s last blog ..Mr. Jayden Garibay My ComLuv Profile

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  • I totally agree! Have a fabulous time this weekend!
    Vinomom´s last blog ..It’s Stir-Fryday! My ComLuv Profile

    [Reply]

  • i love alone time, but being away from chloe kills me. i just miss her too damn much =(

    almost as much as i miss you! ;)
    Sara @TomTheGirl´s last blog ..The best sound in the world (6 mos) My ComLuv Profile

    [Reply]

  • I love this post, Becky. One of the things my husband and I talk about often is how do we maintain some semblance of our life together now when it becomes our life together with child. We look at our friends with children and have pinpointed certain (favorite) friends who really have found a way to be fabulous, involved parents without losing their own identities. I’m so glad to hear you and hubs are now rediscovering that balance that is clearly important to you.
    Nilsa @ SoMi Speaks´s last blog ..Contest My ComLuv Profile

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  • I would absolutely have to agree with you. Alone time is a must. I’m glad you’ve been getting yours a bit more often now. :)
    Kellee´s last blog ..Sunday Share on a Monday Morning My ComLuv Profile

    [Reply]

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